10 things that showed me I was ready to self-fund a PhD
I believe that you don’t really get signs for a chapter of life you’re not going in to. Here are a few things that, when I sat & thought about it, showed me I was definitely ready to self-finance a PhD & eventually led me to jump:
I’d built a child’s version of an ‘elaborate financial system’ :D: OK, so the first time this happened it revolved around not getting pocket money (tell me you’re a second generation immigrant without telling me you’re a second generation immigrant!). What I did get is £2 for lunch, which I saved to buy CD’s, which I would then pawn to get to gigs.
Evidence of more of the same: When I thought about it, I continued to find evidence of doing things like this, & it felt meaningful to me that this kept happening & I wondered if I could apply whatever kind of skill that it was. I also realised I kept finding myself initiating things that didn’t exist, such as new courses (www.soranasantos.com/new-course-creation) & realised how my interest in research was about doing a similar thing.
Idea: As I said before, I already had a clearly-defined idea for what I wanted to do the PhD on & knew both the written & practical research. I can’t recommend being in this position strongly enough.
Work experience: Nearly everything in my career up until that point suddenly looked like it had all unknowingly been leading up to it. This included the little challenge-games I played with myself (& still do - got an EP I wrote & recorded in 48h coming soon!). One of these challenge-games was to take 100 actions towards my career that year, & it was this which ultimately formed the basis of how I started working in academia while doing my Masters.
Energy Inventory: Coincidentally, I’d taken an inventory of how I worked best, & was very surprised to find that I worked well in bursts, & somehow when I did I felt much healthier & happier, & got more done. I felt this is how I’d have to work if I was going to self-finance.
I’d done it before, just differently: I’d worked alongside my other degrees & thought if I could do it twice (!) I could do it again… but differently. I also thought that if I could figure out how to buy music & get to gigs as a kid with lunch money, I could figure this out.
Little ‘jump’ signs: I secured sponsorship for my first year’s fees & I kept hearing ideas about how to earn money everywhere - from friends, blogs, etc. Each time something like this happened it felt like I was being called forward & asked to jump.
Network: I had/have a strong network of people outside of music & HE that seemed to be full of ideas & encouragement for approaches to this challenge that were outside of my musical norm. This was invaluable, & in all honesty, I don’t think I could’ve done it without this.
Support: I also had/have a strong network of people who I knew would just be there if/when things didn’t work out, & would definitely be around for the bad days. I knew I’d need this. And I did.
Intuition: I had an inescapable pull to do it, the idea felt good, feeling into the future felt good, imagining doing the work felt good, as did the application/interview process & people there & I left feeling really excited. I think if I had to pick one to go with it’d be this one.
BONUS!! :D My identity didn’t feel connected to doing the PhD & I had nothing to prove to myself.